What I Want To Say
by Queen Stark
Summary: Climon One-Shot


**What I Want To Say**

_A Climon Story_

There are many times Simon wished his feelings for Clary were gone, that he could look at her without the butterflies in his stomach and the ache in his heart. The beautiful curl of her hair and the smile that light up her face was sometimes too much for him to handle. He wanted to be interested in other girls, to have a girlfriend he felt as strongly for as he did for Clary.

But, he was stuck, admiring her in secret, offend afraid he gave something away and amazed she didn't notice.

Yet, as he stood next to her, her hair thrown back into a lazy bun, he could not help but notice their hands nearly touching. All he had to do was jerk his hand a little and he could hold her soft hand in his own. The line was moving at a slow pace, slowly drawing the smile from Clary's face. All they wanted was a coffee and a change to talk.

"What the hell is taking so long?" Clary finally huffed, turning a little more to face Simon. "This is annoying."

Simon, being a bit more patient then Clary, just laughed. He didn't mind standing there – but of course, he was with the only person he wanted to be with. "Hey look!" He said with a bit too much perkiness. "The line is moving." His over excitement and slight sarcasm was met with an eye roll from Clary.

The two of them took the two steps forward and then were stuck motionless again.

"About the thing you say yesterday…"

"Simon," Clary turned away from him, her eyes fixated on the man's head in front of her, "I don't want to talk about it. You've already made it clear you don't believe me."

She was right, he didn't see anything, and she had been standing in an empty closet, cords around her feet and a terrified expression across her face. "I just want to make sure you know what you saw."

"I saw what I saw, Simon! Stop bringing it up if you're just going to act like I am crazy."

Her mood was turning sour, part of it was because of the line not moving, but the other part was because of him. Pressing his lips together, he nodded,

"Well, I don't plan going back to that place. Subtract the Goth weirdoes and insane lighting; the security guard was a total asshole."

Normally a comment like that would get at least a chuckle out of Clary, but she stood silent, her lips staying in a tight line. "Hey," Voice now softer, he slowly turned her around by lightly pulling her arm. "is everything okay?"

For a long moment, Clary was silent, staying emotionless and only moving when the line did. Simon soon began to worry; afraid he had done too far in talking about the events of last night. He was only messing with her, but he should have known that it was a mistake today. Even with a smile on her face, he saw her mood was worse than normal.

"I don't know, Simon." She finally said, meeting his eyes "I think I'm going crazy. I keep – I keep feeling like things are different but…" Her voice trailed off as she shook her head and looking at the ground.

Another warm yet frightening batch of butterflies entered Simon's stomach. He had many times thought about this whenever Clary was like the way she was now. He imagined himself gently reaching under her chin and lifting it up until their eyes met, then, drawing her closer to him, slowly placing one hand on her hip and the other on her cheek. Then, slowly, he would lower his lips to hers and reassure her everything was okay.

At this moment, with Clary's head bowed, and her hair shielding her face, all Simon wanted to do was reassure her she was not crazy. Sadly, he had to stop himself; Clary didn't see him as anything other than a friend. That has been a smack-in-the-face fact for years now.

The line finally moved, both Simon and Clary ordering their coffee and sat down in one of the corners. Clary tried picking up a normal conversation again, acting like she had not openly admitted to Simon how she was feeling. Even as she plastered a fake smile, Simon could not remove how helpless Clary had looked moments before.

"My mom is being insane she is talking –" Clary froze, her eyes staring in fear in front of her. Simon looked from her to where her eyes were staring but some nothing but the wall.

"Clary?" Slowly, she scooted closer to him, a slight tremble in her movements. "What's the matter?"

She didn't answer, just slowly lowered herself further into the seat, soon burying her head in Simon's chest. "Make him go away," Clary whispered, her eyes shut.

Simon was shocked, first by the way she was acting and second by how she was now hiding behind him like a child. Never before had Clary ever done anything like this, normally she was very up-front about things, never allowing other people to do things for her. Not that Simon minded, there was a relaxing warming sensation that radiated through Simon as Clary laid there.

A moment or two passed, Simon just wrapped his arm around her shoulder unable to think of what to say. Clary kept muttering, her eyes tightly closed. Then, she slowly rose to a sitting position, her face more pale than usual and her eyes wide. "What happened?" Simon asked, taking one last glance at the wall – still seeing nothing.

"Simon," Clary's voice was barely a whisper, "I think I really am crazy. I know you didn't see him, and I don't think he's really there. Simon," She pressed her lips together, staring at her best friend, "let's get out of here, go to your place."

With a simple nod, they left, leaving there barely touched coffees behind. Simon's mom was out, not that she minded Clary being there, in fact, Mrs. Lewis was like a second mother to Clary.

Simon had noticed that as they walked through the door, Clary's face finally regained its color.

"You don't think I'm insane do you?" Clary spoke once they were in Simon's room and he had shut the door. Simon turned to face her, she sat perched on the edge of his bed, her head down.

"Of course not." Simon reassured, sitting down next to her, and slowly putting his arm around her shoulders. He didn't think she was crazy, he didn't know what to think – but he knew she was not crazy.

Clary then nussled up to Simon, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his right arm. For a moment he was unable to breath, the sweet smell of her hair, the warmth of her body, it was almost too much to take. A part of him wanted to choke down the words that threatened to burst from his lips, but the other part wanted to help them fly and see where they lead.

"I love you."

His words came out in a small whisper, barely audible, but Clary had heard them crystal clear. For a moment, neither of them moved, and then Clary lifted her head and met Simon's eyes. Somehow, she knew he didn't mean I love you as a friend – but something more.

Her faces were inches from his, her breath bounced of his face. He wanted her to say something.

But, she never said anything, she did something even better. She erased the gap between their faces and met her lips with his.


End file.
